Change Is Good

I feel like this life is a constant classroom of learning life lessons.  Sometimes I find myself having to repeat the grade because I didn't do so hot the first time.  The beautiful guys in this picture are an example.  I was so excited for spring to come this year that I eagerly shoved their little roots into the soil as soon as I could stand outside without a jacket.  I was thrilled with color (finally!) after such a cold, harsh and grey winter.  I was so proud of my little row of sunshine to brighten the day.  I recall now seeing raised eyebrows as I carted my little beauties out the greenhouse door.  I didn't care.  I was going to claim spring.  Right then and there.
Well, pitifully, most ended up in the compost pile.  I jumped the gun.  Poor souls. In my own desire to plant the beauty that would be all mine, they froze to death in probably the coldest April I have been alive for.  I tortured the poor creatures after dragging them out of their perfect, humid climate in the greenhouse and forced them to be mine.  They paid for it.  And I did too as I had to replant about a month later. That change was a bit too much for the little guys.

Change can be hard.  Really hard.

I am sure it's been pretty obvious through my writing how much I love to run.  It is such a part of my life in so many aspects.  I love the sound my footsteps make as I run on gravel roads.  I love the taste of water no better than after a good run.  I love the view of a long stretch of trail with no one in sight.  I love the smell of the woods after a hard rain.  And I love the touch of wind on my neck, knowing the Lord is pushing me towards home.  All of it.  I enjoy it all.

I am learning a hard lesson about it right now though.  I am learning patience and reliance through injury.  I am learning how to wait and be quiet for healing.  And it has not been an easy one to learn.  Stepping back in something we love to do is not the place we naturally want to be. And I am having to step back in a big way to gain healing.  

The wonderful thing is I always know there is a lesson for me in growth and trust.  I might have to be pulled up out of my comfortable place, but often that is where the best things are learned.  In an element that is not our own. Sweetness is found when we can see joys despite not having what we want.  I am finding thanks that The Lord is making something out of it.  He always does.  

Fresh insight.  Time.  Reliance.  Lightening up.  Finding joy in the small. Discovery of new passions.  Humility.  Dependence.  Thankfulness for what I have and can see in front of me.

We are in a constant forward motion.  We have no choice.  Sometimes we try too desperately to hang onto the past.  We fight change or hardship.  But, movement is the essence of life.  So going ahead is really good. Because we discover more of who we are, what we are made of, appreciate the small things, but most of all, witness the movements of God in us and through us.

Our oldest, Owen, is heading into his senior year of high school.  It totally boggles my mind that we are standing at that door.  I can't think, for the life of me, how we arrived here.  What strangeness of feelings it incurs. So much excitement for what lies ahead.  Fear of what lies ahead.  Worry for the same.  Joy that he is ready to experience a new life.  A grip on my part that I can't bear to think of letting him go.  It's such a mixed up mess of emotions.  It feels like I am facing an amputation in a way.  But, oh my.  How much more the excitement and joy for seeing who he has become and is going to become overrides all the other things.

So, I will let him go and give him my all with joy.  Of course, I will be an emotional mess, but there is such grace in that.  God will again sit me up on His shoulders and together we will watch Owen take off into the world.  And with that change, I will again find new ways I am being stretched and molded.  It's such a good thing.

So.  Although my poor, little flowers choked on the change, grab hold of it in your own lives.  And be eager for the joys that it will bring.  Change is good.  It's really, really good.  Because the big picture is not a mistake, despite all of ours.  The change isn't out of control.  It is all heading towards something amazing and awesome.

This is the change we should eagerly await for sure...  

"For I know that my Redeemer lives, 

and at the last 

He shall stand upon the earth." 

~Job 19:25 ESV