Water Giver

Maybe I should have been a pilot who drops supplies from a plane to displaced citizens....or a nurse bandaging injured soldiers in the middle of the dessert...or a humanitarian aid worker in a refugee camp....maybe running an orphanage for hundreds without parents in a third world country. I don't know, but I admire these people. They are heroes in my eyes. They see social injustice and they go to the front lines, actively doing something to change oppression...or at least showing that they hate it.

Since I am none of these things, I wrestle with what I can do when I see oppression of any sort. Whether witnessing it on my BBC news app, or witnessing it in Walmart, it is everywhere. Some days it seems too overwhelming to to know what to do, or how to act. But, that is exactly where evil wants to keep me....US. Standing complacent on the sidelines, gazing at the flowers when great injustices are being played out day after day right in front of us.

The pattern of the condition of society starts with me. It starts with each of us. How we treat each other. How we talk to one another. How we teach our kids to do the same. It's cyclical. It matters. Choosing to allow others to go first. Choosing to not have the last or loudest word...choosing to listen, instead. Seeing children in our society as a great treasure instead of annoyances or inconveniences.

The Guy I look to for advise and counsel on these things has shown me how huge giving even just a cup of water can be to someone. He shows me consistently how it's possible to reach out with love to the oppressed and the oppressors alike. It's amazing, because most people would think that would be impossible....and it is actually, to me, without His guidance. He lays out what that looks like beautifully. And, here I am, not a pilot or a humanitarian worker or orphanage runner...but just a person who can give water and encouragement....and kindness.

"If you are content to simply be yourself, 

you will become MORE than yourself." 

Luke 14:11 msg

Discouragement can come swiftly and blindside a seemingly good day. The harsh words of a few can take that cup of water in your hand and feel like it just got dumped on your head. But, recently I was reminded of endurance so well through the example of another guy named Nehemiah. He faced some pretty tough opposition in a huge undertaking. Yet, he ran back, time and time again, to the first Guy I spoke of, for guidance and wisdom. It's an amazing testimony to accomplishing big things and keeping focused. Throughout the process, he was able to encourage oppressed people and change the hearts of some oppressors too. Seems pretty impossible, but it can happen. 

So, when you feel like throwing in the towel in regards to your impact on humans, don't. We just can't. This whole thing matters too much. Encouraging the hearts of people in a hard world matters, not only because it is rare, but because we need each other. There is something huge in giving encouragement, or help, or kindness, or that cup of water. These are binding agents that miraculously impact and knit souls together....and change people. And this shows that we work the front lines together.  I guess I just needed reminded. Maybe you did too. Flowers are wonderful, but I don't want to stand there all day.

"Give a cool cup of water to someone 
who is thirsty. 

The smallest act of giving 

makes you a true apprentice." 

Matthew 10:41 msg

Birth Days

Today, our second son, Wyatt turned 17 years old. Of our four children, three of them were born within a month of each other's birthdays. By the time Wyatt's birthday has rolled around, we have been doing lots of celebrating in our house during the first of the year.

It struck me this morning how excited I get for my children's birthdays. It's not to give them fun gifts or for the party or the special meals. It's far bigger. Yesterday, I kept reliving in my head what I was doing 17 years ago leading up to Wy's birth. Then, I woke up early this morning, like it was Christmas Day...I showered, fixed my hair and found myself as if I had big plans for the day that I hadn't yet discovered. Brad even asked where I was headed. "Nowhere", and I surprised myself.
But, it occurred to me that deep inside, it is a special day again...a pondering of a day of birth is the reason. It is a day that I celebrate great accomplishment in my heart. It is a day that I feel special and their birthdays are sacred to me. And not just because I gave birth to them, but because I have grown with them, nurturing them with great care, watching them change and blossom and flourish.

 

It's amazing to celebrate the adults they are becoming...

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The ways they are changing...(And my hair too, thank goodness!)

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The aspects in which they are growing...

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And the lessons they are learning...

Each of them was handed to me for the very first time by a physician who would never walk with them through this life. Someone who eased them into this world, but would hand to Brad and I the greatest tangible gifts we would ever receive. I wish I could go back to that exact moment once again with each one to savor it a bit longer in the midst of the bustle of the labor room.
There have been great joys and victories to celebrate. There have been huge disappointments and sadnesses to work through. But these are what make and root a family. It's an incredible thing to walk closely with a human from the fragility of a newborn through the entrance to adulthood and beyond, Lord willing.

So, yes. Their birthdays are days I share with them. I get to celebrate the glory and gifts that The Lord saw fit to loan to me for a short time and all He is accomplishing in their lives. Oh, I feel like I'm slowly getting "let go" from this job I've studied and strained to do for the past 19 years, but that's okay. God will grace me with the strength to let each of them go in their time and support and love them in new ways. But their birthdays will always be mine too. And the gifts I receive will never break or be lost.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.

~Psalm 127:3

Happy Birth-Day to me!

Coaching A Life

I am about 3/4 of the way through my first season of coaching middle school cross country. I have wanted to coach for a long time, but finally the right timing and opportunity came along and I am thankful. It's been such a great fit for me. 

Thank goodness for middle schoolers because they are awesome human beings. I may have had some preconceived notions about middle school kids before I started coaching, but they have changed. They are funny and witty and crazy and loving. They aren't cynical because childhood was just yesterday and yet they are engaged in conversations and growing up because adulthood is tomorrow. They aren't stuck in some weird middle ground though. They are learning leadership and compassion and their impact; as a result, they soak in everything. Yet, they are unabashed and eager to play and be silly because they still have a lot of kid-ness left. They are awesome. And adults should learn a lot from them.

I was recently blessed with hearing Sue Ramsey speak at at dinner for mentors. She is an amazing woman and coach whose whole demeanor exudes passion for what she does. She coached Ashland University women's basketball for over 20 years and has had a huge impact not only on AU women's basketball, but on women's sports in general. Many things hit me when she spoke that night, but one thing that stood out was the tremendous impact a coach has on their team. Studies have shown that, aside from a child's parent's, a coach can have the greatest impact on a child's life. 

Running is a sport that is filled with life lessons. It's amazing to be in a unique opportunity to help guide and teach kids, not only how to run and run strong, but also the qualities within running that parallel living a life that is powerful and positive and impactful. That everyday, they make a decision on how they will affect the world and running is a tool for that.

Sue quoted a great guy several times that evening and this was my favorite...

"Today I shall behave, as if this is the day I will be remembered."  

~Dr. Suess

I love this, not because it's about behaving, but because it's about living. It's about running and encouraging and leading and caring. It's the culmination of what cross country is and also my desire that the kids on our team have lives that are changed for the good because they ran on a team. 

I am learning a lot from them and I hope I'm teaching some things. I'm not a coach who is well-read on the latest running programs or super knowledgeable on technique and workouts. I'm simply here to give what I know from some experience and encourage them to keep pushing. I find myself incredibly emotional on race days. I yell good things at them with all I have, and am determined to encourage every single one at some point within the span of the race. My nervousness is not because my team are the ones racing for the top trophies, but because I want every girl to feel that sense of achievement and satisfaction at the end of a week's hard work. (The boys are getting the trophies, though, and THAT is cool!)

My own running intensity and racing have been sidelined due to time and mainly some physical problems I've been struggling with. My shoes are entirely too clean for my liking. I run daily with the team, however and I love that. It's been so cool to see how The Lord has easily replaced a desire for personal victories with eagerness and excitement for the victories of these kiddos. Everything has it's season, but I am thankful that my heart hasn't been muted to hear the calling of God to focus my full on motivating a team to compete rather than be sad because I am not. The satisfaction is multiplied too.  I am so thankful that The Lord has weighed the balance for me. 

Once I read an article in which Sue Ramsey was interviewed about the success of her team. I wrote down the quote because I thought it was a beautiful picture of what the goal of a team should be...

"Esteeming others as better than myself. The fruit of repentance. The attitude which rejoices in the success of others. The freedom from having to be right. The foundation of unity. The mark of authenticity. The fruit of brokenness. The qualities which catch the attention of God."

~Sue Ramsey

Middle school kids have a lot of learning to do...but, so do all humans. And probably, cross country is just a small piece of helping a kid grow into a great adult and I'm more passionate about it than is necessary. But, as most runners know, the lessons learned through running, very closely parallel the lessons we need to learn in our life. Lessons of perseverance, compassion, hard work, pushing through pain, encouragement, leadership, joy for the successes others. These things are like gold coins in our pockets when we learn them.  It feels like a privilege in being the presenter of such things to young hearts. I will for sure, miss my little family of 47 kids in a few weeks, because I have seen method in the madness. 

Slow The Current

School started late this year. After Labor Day, and I loved how our summer was extended. The kids were ready to return and felt excited rather than rushed into ending summer abruptly like usual. I was thankful for the extra time with them, only that Owen was missing since he started his first semester at college in mid-August.

Now that the kids are back at their learning in school, I can't believe how suddenly my laid-back days have turned into scheduling and time slots and rushing. The harshness of the alarm buzzing in the darkness each morning rustles me staggering into the kitchen to pack lunches by the dim stove light. Then the kids slowly make it downstairs and suddenly the race begins. The lunches...hurry! The breakfast...hurry! The books...hurry! The backpacks...hurry! The prayers...hurry! Suddenly, gone. Then I set off in my own hurry of squeezing in time with The Lord, with a friend, with my commitments, with my responsibilities. The moments of the day blur into one and I fall into my favorite chair...again, it's dark. 

Some days I feel like I have really missed it. Missed the moments that I have hurried by in order to honor this thing called "Time" who seems to judge me. The fail of not connecting deeper than the typical questions I ask of the kids each day. The fail of not staying longer at the table with Brad. The fail of priorities in the wrong order to please "Time". Then all of sudden my connection with one is by letter or phone call. And I am lingering longer because I want more "Time" with him. I don't have enough. I'm bankrupt on "Time". 

With the windows open, I hear the rushing of cars racing to their morning destinations. Racing, rushing, hurrying. We are always hurrying for the next. For the hot weather to cease. For the school year to start or finish. For a stage to end. For hard to stop. Everywhere I look, it's wanting bigger, better, faster, more. All the rushing. But, then I also hear the sweet, homemade wind chime in my tree. Softly clanging. Making it's statement that things can be slow. Reminding me that I can hold onto moments and stay there in order to slow this thief, "Time", down. I can trip him up and savor more. It is my choice. I can resist the current that is pulling me in order to see a little longer before it whips me downstream. God gives me strength against "Time" to hold onto what counts, if only I remember to not get swept away by it. 

I will hold on to the moments as they come. Today I will remember. Tomorrow I will need to remember or be reminded. And really, I don't think that I want more of "Time", I just want enough. I want enough to do this life well. I pray for help in that. 

"Time is an illusion."

-Albert Einstein

"The mountains are calling, and I must go." ~John Muir

The end of May brought a ton of busyness to our home. With four kids finishing up track and school and lessons and banquets and concerts and mountain bike races, plus we also had our oldest graduating from high school, which is no ordinary day. The day of Owen's graduation party, I sat down for about 5 minutes before guests started to arrive and grabbed a pop out of the bottom of the cooler outside... to treat myself to a rare Coke and to spike some caffeine in my bloodstream so this introverted girl could survive hosting a couple hundred guests. I loved the writing on the wall as I sat down to chug some sin and dream a moment about our trip west that was a few days away.

Fast forward a week and we are loading up our two compact cars with two road bikes, two mountain bikes, gear, food, clothing and seven people for a 23 hour road trip to Colorado.

Lots of sleeping was involved on the part of the passengers, so I did alot of thinking and looking and dreaming and singing (when I was sure they were sleeping.)

We went through and by some really crazy storms through Kansas and into eastern Colorado. We even watched a tornado form in and out of a large cell... watching it touch down in fields then pull back into the clouds, then repeat over and over as we skirted the road heading in the opposite direction. But, oh my, were the clouds beautiful.

Finally we hit Colorado Springs and those glorious mountains came into view. I know flying is wonderful, but if you want a full appreciation o

f the beauty of the mountains, drive across Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and KANSAS into Colorado... Then see how beautiful those mountains are. 

Buena Vista was where we landed and called home for the next two weeks.

Hiking, trail running, mountain and road biking, exploring, climbing. We played hard, ate alot and crashed at night in the cool mountain air.

Brad and Owen got to do an epic ride together to the top of Cottonwood Pass.

I had some beautiful trail runs. 

We had several amazing hikes.

Cottonwood Lake with SUP boards and a kayak were a huge hit. So fun and relaxing.

The time we spent together in the mountains felt like coming home to every one of us. It's strange how you can feel so right in a place that you've never been. Maybe someday it will be our home. Until then, we will cherish the place and look ahead with excitement to new adventures there. But more than that, we will hold with sacred hands the time we have together, living closely with a shared joy in salvation through the Savior who created all of this majesty. 

And this momma will keep soaking in the joys I have found in family that grows and loves.