Things I learned in 43.

On the last night of the last day I was 43, I rode my bike in the woods, then walked straight into the river and soaked. I definitely soaked in the ride and the sultry, summer night, the crickets and sounds of the woods, and the revival I felt of being alone in the cool river. But more than that, I soaked in the closing out of my 43rd year of life. I never used to do this, but the past few I have. Somehow reliving moments, gains, losses, snapshots, failure, frustration, exhilaration, achievement, and most of all JOY, all in all is incredibly satisfying. Not necessarily singularly, but as a whole. A year in a life of a human.
Maybe I do it because I feel incredibly loved and cared for or maybe because we never know when it will all come to an end. Regardless, reflecting is something I love to do and propels me forward to the next.
A couple of years ago, I wrote things I learned in 41. It was a good exercise in recalling events and how they shaped where I am from where I was. I kept a little journal on my phone this past year to do the same for 43. Sometimes I would think of something and pull the car over in order to write it down, sometimes I would forget about it for months. So, here are some things I learned in 43. Not all, but some. Some are just for me, but some I thought would be sweet to share because they were sweet to me.

*I am thinking that the most meaningful jobs are little to no pay. I don't have any experience in getting paid big bucks, but I'm guessing that this must be the case based on the acceptance of "little to no salary" positions that I tend to sign on for.

*Middle school kids are pretty much the best brand of humans. My thoughts may be in the minority, but I encourage you to spend some solid time with some and you'll see what I'm talking about. They have an unabashed quality about them...both childlike and desiring adulthood all at once. They crave your advice and are beautifully authentic about who they are.

*Trying new things is super fun. It can be super scary, but the fun-ness outweighs the scariness, so you should just go for it. Regret is always in the not trying and rarely in the trying. I hope I never stop trying new things.

...even a haircut

*My kids aren't WHO I am. They will leave and change and become their own humans. This is very good. And satisfying for them and me. And it's freeing...once I figured out that it was the things I just said.

*Most people aren't like me. That is good. For all of us!

*Encouraging others is way more fun than looking for ways to be encouraged.

*I really love to drive for hours and hours and miles and miles....listening to good music and dreaming.

*It's really easy to be changed by grumpy, complaining people. It's amazing though what can happen when you decide to stop letting them affect you, and you go be the effect. Crazy amazing!

*God's Word continues to challenge and refine me. And often not in ways that I see coming. He calls me out and sets me straight as only a loving Dad could do. He also shows me what a truly persevering life with Him looks like. Grace begets grace. I love how carefully and diligently He works with my heart.

*Adult-ish children are really wonderful.

*I would never suggest to live beyond your means, but I would highly suggest to live beneath your years.

*Pour yourself into your family. Not an ounce of time is ever wasted.

*Smile. Alot. And mean it.

*There will never be any regret in spending as much time as possible with your spouse. There is a gold mine found there.

*Doubt your doubt. Truly. When doubt worms it's way into my head, I have to question where that came from. Hold steady to truth.

*Walking away from God means opening ourselves up to embracing depravity. Loving His Word means that I'll fight for justice and righteousness with all that I am. In a time when all of humanity is questioning what is right and what isn't, I have been reminded that God is the ultimate Authority. So, I will keep following Jesus, even when the way is rough. He is my only way to keep from living my life confused and aimless.

*It didn't take long for my kids to grow taller or faster or smarter than me. BUT, I will always be a touch wiser in things related to living. I also know that I need to keep searching and seeking it.

*Standing for justice also means reaching far and wide with loving mercy.

*The ripple effect of every choice we make is way bigger than each of us conceive. The good can be seen in generational beauty for decades. Decisions that fracture are far reaching. Way more than we imagine that it matters. I realize I need to weigh carefully decisions that remain focused on myself. Putting self first is rarely a good thing...if ever.

*I was given a friend for the rest of my life when I gave birth to that Chloe Rose. What a privilege it's been to care for this friend in her most fragile state and then witness her blossom into a beautiful soul.